When your plan is cancelled .......... _|_

When you're all ready to go out and ........ The plan's cancelled -.- like wtf if you wanna cancel a plan tell me fucking earlier ! Even worse , you asked me to follow you and your family to jb . eh hello , you fucking dont know how it feels like right to hv a broken family ? i mean like AT THE FUCKING LEAST , you can at least understand how embarrass and ashamed it feels like to go out with your family . you know why ? cos my family is broken . my parents are divorced and we dont even spend much time w each other like you and your family . like yes , THINK , how it feels like to hangout w someone else's family knowing that my family is trashed . Not to frgt , i knw you're busy w soccer w friends and family but at least when you say you wanna go out w me , mean it . dont say you gotta go here and thr last min . then end up you asked me out to ecp and asked me to change . by 2 meet . and yknw wht ? fuck you and your family and friends , you then told me you're on yr way to jb . FUCK DONT YOU KNOW WHAT LONELINESS FEEL LIKE ? dont you even CARE how i FEEL ? you know what i've been through but you fucking dont know how it feels like to be in my situation . UNLESS IF ONE DAY I RUIN YOUR FAMILY THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND . and yes i am motherfucking jealous when i see you spending time w yr family . know why ? LOOK AT MINE , SON OF A BITCH . omg just fucking please motherfucking understand me for fucking once . JUST , ONCE . its not even a sin to understand me at least . FUCK ! ITS OK NOW I KNW WHAT IM LIVING FOR . TO BE USED , LEFT ,TRASHED , ALONE . FUCK YEA I DONT MOTHERFUCKING CARE ANYMORE . HUMANS ARE HUMANS , THEY'RE ALL MOTHERFUCKING SAME . FUCK YOU ALL _|_ 

Love is not about pride .

Yes . true . but idk whether my bf rlly love me or he MIGHT still have THAT tiny feelings for SOMEONE else . well idk , things change . people change , everything change . why oh why ?! idk laa haissssssssssssss . k idk what to say alr ah . this is life . well , teenage love . i dont think we can last till marriage also , no hope . cos girls out thr nowadays are bitches . hais .. why oh why he change ?! WHY ?! i dont like >: I MISS YOU . YES YOU . BUT THE OLD YOU . COS THE NEW ONE SUCKS ! k enough , bye .

Can't possibly sleep thinking bout you mum );

hi . its been so long so err .. i cannot tahan already with my feelings all . hais . ); i wish someone knew i was not okay by looking through my eyes . cos im tired of pretending to be ok all this while . im not ok . why ? idk lah . once again , i feel that im useless . i saw a group of family , people posting stuffs abt family in fb . yes , i am jealous . i am fucking jealous ok . as i was thinking abt my past , my perfect times , i feel that i was the reason why my parents divorce . i think i am the fault . im so sad . yes , crying now . i've yet to slp and its 0605 am . hais . its been a year since i last met my mum . its sad to know that she is perfectly fine and ok without me while im so depressed and cant let go of the past cos i love her so much . im so ashamed of my family . even my bf's family is not like mine . his family is perfectly fine . why do i have to think abt it again ? why must everyone keep reminding me abt family indirectly through fb ? why do a guy like hadi exist ? knowing that he knows my family background and he have the heart to spread around about it . why cant i frgt the past ? why are humans nowadays fucked mentally ? why ?! why do they think that relationship is the main thing about teenage life ? being so heartbroken and depress about "TEENAGE LOVE" ? at least they have a complete family right ? who is there for them ? who never come and go like humans who is a stranger became friends to bestfriends to boyfriend and they only have one heart , and why do some guys think that they can fix millions of girls hearts ? why ? family is always there . guys come and go to me . friends too . but at least i hae sheetal , christal , joey , sharmin and some others TRUE FRIENDS . unlike nadya and the other biatches *no offense* . like srsly why cant i hv a complete family ? why can other ppl ? )': i am fucking jealous ok . very fucking jealous . if i had a chance , i would be alr dead but cos of some people , i knw that i love them , i dont have the heart to leave everything just like that . seriously , im so sad . i wish there is someone who can give me a hug , some advices , give me some tissues ? to wipe my tears not to expand my boobs size oh please . -.- hais i wish , someone rlly understands me . i wish thr is someone who knows , i am smiling but when they look into my eyes , i am a different person . yes i am a cheerful girl . i USED to be a very bubbly girl . thats when i was in pri sch . now ? no . im not . ppl call me emo and stuffs . yes , that hurts me too cos it simply means that they can see im changing . from a cheerful girl to a one emo shit . to be honest , im not emo . im just sad . sad for some reasons not because of "TEENAGE LOVE" okay . -.- sad cos of my family . it is screwed . im embarrassed cos my life is empty . i wish i can rewind the time when my mum was around , when i was so young and not looking into a relationship . i wish i had a mum , who loves and cares for me sincerely . thats all . k im done . 0620 , whatsapp-ed bf , guess i shall try to slp . bye . :D (: |: \: ): D: T^T I AM FUCKING SAD ! BYE .

sick girl T^T

hi so uhm its been effing long snce i posted a new post so uhm yeah , been quite busy lately working at macd with joey/renne at sengkang hoho ! very tiring yet fun at times . okay la these few days work fun ah but today i was fucked up because of this stupid old aunty mf knn ccb she ah , order me to clean this and that but she only do the fucking tray . stupid bitch ! might as well dont work right , asking ppl to do your job then you get the pay . ccb angry sia _|_ but luckily aft break , i had to served the customer . omg so confusing plus rushing sia so many ppl >.< hehs . and for yesterday , 281011 , friday , i had to fry the french fries . and thrs like alot of customer wtf . damn busy rushing and tiring sia . that thingy so heavy and slippery fr me tp carry until my hand is swollen . and i got fever idk why but i think its because of the weather these nowadays . keep on raining , been showered by the rain and from sengkang to wdlnds take 161 its like damn cold . and now i feel so weak plus tmr got work at 0830 fucking early so tiring pls shit ): hais .. im so giddy man . hahahaha ok thats all fr today , goodnighty ~ ^^v

It's always my fault . I'm always wrong . I'm sorry )':

" spoiling peoples relationship " ya im in between . its all my fault right ? im always wrong . although you all don't know my whole story , you all assume . okay fine then , im wrong , im always the main problem , happy ? its funny people these days assume things they want it to be ya know . well then if its my fault , im sorry . i dont have any intention to tear them apart . i wanted them to be together , i didn't know he would fall for me . i am seriously sorry . but if she wants him back , i would let go of my happiness just to see them happy okay ? even though i may sound as if i don't want him already or whatever shit , deep inside , i love syahdirwan and that's all i really know . and i am happy if he is . im sorry baby for spoiling your relationship last time . i am mean right ? im always in between right baby ? im sorry , forgive me please D'x i guess maybe , i really don't deserve being loved and all . but i still love you , only youuuuuuuuuuu >':

I only exist when YOU NEED SOMETHING FROM ME _|_

people nowadays -.- they only ask you fr help and shit only when they need something from you . ahaha this type of people , tsk2 wake up uh , im not a servant k . ahahaha k bye kiss my TOE !