hi . ): as usual , im a foreversadgirl97@hotmail.com ): haish .. that feelings when you really miss someone so much from your life . the one who is related to you , left you . the one who took care of you for years , 9 months is the most painful one . the one who you thought would always be there for you but things change . the one who has the best cooking for you . the one who feeds you when you were sick . the one who is very patient to teach you how to walk when you dont even know how to walk nor stand still . the one who you talk back to when they nag at you . the one who suddenly change their mind , and do things that make you fall into pieces . the one who you says you hate , you dont wanna meet yet you love them , hard to forget , the one who you miss so damn much in your life . yeah that person , used to be there for me . i wonder if im going to meet that person tomorrow . its like , really damn fucking sad to the max to the core when you actually force yourself to be happy infront of others , but behind everyone , you shed tear , till your eyes looks somehow swollen , you scream , till you get sore throat or even lost your voice , you do things that hurt yourself , till people have bad impression of you . its really really sad you know )': i've always wish that i have a simple , normal , HAPPY life . thats all . but everything is all gone . its like , sorrows have take over me . and i feel sad everyday , every hour , every minute , every second , thinking about the past . i wish someone can help me forget everything in the past just so that i can at least start anew HAPPY life . infact , sorrows took over me , i dont even know what it feels like to be happy . im only happy when i have my someone , my only one , Muhammad Syahdirwan Bin Jumari . yes him , he never fail to make me laugh like a mad girl when i dont even want to smile . i love him and he should know that . frankly speaking , i feel jealous looking at people who has a perfect complete family . my eyes will somehow filled with water and sometimes , i cant even hold on to it , but i have to pretend as though my eyes are itchy . haish >: why must these things happen to me ? why does these things keep revolving around my eyes ? WHY WHY ?! D''''; the only thing i want in life is HAPPINESS . but what is this ?! )': haiyomah ~ life is so straightforward yet people make things complicated and UNFAIR ! how can i possibly be normal if i can never be happy again ?! i used to be damn fucking happy but look what happen to me now . people call me emotional and whatever shit but no . i just cant be happy anymore . i dont feel anything great in life . i think im useless . im always the main problem . im so sorry to always be like this all the time . haishh . i diedie wanna apologize to that person who is related to me ya know ): like last year , september , hari raya , the time when that person want to leave , my eyes turned read , i shed a tear , that person bend down , hugged me , and we both cried . haishh . how i wish my life is normal , like those other people . i dont want hari raya because , i dont need money actually . the main thing for hari raya is when your family gather , spend time together and all . haish im so fucking sad like ya . i wish someone can just stab my heart <///////////////////////////////3 i dont wanna live no more , crying , thinking about the past that makes me hurt myself . im sick and tired of living without family love . and obviously , when one party in the family is missing , it is not called a COMPLETE FAMILY . ): some people should really bersyukur kepada tuhan that they have a complete family and they should cherish it . but some people , dont even cherish it nor bersyukur man wth right ! im dying to have a complete family ahhhhhhhhhhh k bye ah haish </3 >':
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