My somebodeh ~ xD ♥

olloooooooooooo !~ hehehehheh . and that's my boyfriend (: THEN WHY GOT PROBLEM AH ?! ccb ! cheh ~ no link HAHAHAHA . i love him so much ohh yeah oh yeaaah ohhhh yeaaahhh ~ (x N lvl is coming and i wan him to study . gdluck eh ! >.< ahahahahahaa can you imagine he dont even know what's zodiac sign ? LOLOLOLOL SO CUTE RIGHT xD and he's 16+ going to 17 -.- CHEH AHAHHA . he likes to say im short -.- but wait , he's short too :p but veryyyyyy adorable ♥♥♥ hehehehe . i love him y'know ! lololol like duhh , obvious enough x3 hekhek ! he is a very good kisser , I LOIKE ! ;D hahahahahahahahaahaha no , really , he is xp ahahahahahah ~ he bought me angry bird key chain so i hang it on my sch bag , and he did th same thing too HAHAHAHAH CUTE RIGHT I KNOW . dont jealous k , he's mine (; lolololololol ok laah idk what to type liaozxc >.< hehe bye :B

So hard to say . so easy to type . :/

Hi . i srsly dont trust people these days . they are fucking hypocrite . cannot be trusted . 2 faced . this is all BULLSHIT ! HAHAHAHAHAHAA . eh srsly -.- lol . idk ah sometimes , people cant understand what we're trying to say . is it wrong for me to create a blog to post stuffs about my life ? i mean , non of my friends give a fuck abt my feelings anymore so what else ? i hv to meet nas to ask for help , tell him all my feelings , some people might thing the other way , as in , im after him or what . listen , i've got Syahdirwan . i dont need anyone else other than him alright ? thanks . oh anw , i've been trying to find afif to talk , well , he's one of my closest bro uh . so yeah . i only share things with people who im comfortable with . i tried to not find people to talk about all this so i started blogging . but hey , its also wrong huh . i express my feelings here . nadya knows abt this , and she's unhappy about the photo i posted which is taken by me , candid (syahdirwan&nadya) uh huh . oh hey , its my blog . you dont even give a fuck abt how you made me feel . long ago , i've alr knw that you were talking abt me bhind my bck and so on , i've kept quiet . what ? i posted on fb last time abt "im giving up for her blablabla " ? hah ! i almost did . i hurt myself in the end . like now , its fucking pain ttmttc . no lies . imagine , someone who is so damn close to you just treat you in such a way that you are replaced and being ignored now ? hah its okay . whatever makes them happy laah horr . idk what to do now . all i wanna concentrate abt now is my studies . alright imma go study now haaah bye (:

Must i face this all over again ? :'/

hey idk why i dont feel like doing my work . not lazy , just that im like giving up on everything . idk ah :/ hmm . oh yeah , i wonder if he want her back . well maybe ? only god knows . well if he does , im fine with anything . its not that because i want us apart thus i keep posting if he want her back or i gv up or wtv laah horr . just that , i love him and i wish he could get the best things in life . well maybe , just MAYBE , he might go for her back , idk but i know , i wont love anyone else as much as i love him . cause he's my type . i love him so effing much . idk what's best for him , whether to continue our relationship or maybe let it go , just to see him with my bestfriend , nadya . idk . i need help omg )': athirah even asked me if i like anyone else other than syahdirwan , but no . i rlly dont have anyone else in my mind except him . well i need to meet nas again to talk about this . i really need to talk to someone . >: omgggggg if thats the only way to see everyone happy , then thats it :/ idk laah . im so confuse pls . alright thats it , bye T.T

Boring saturday ~ ♥

yellowwwwwwww :3 hekhek ! today's saturday . like omfg sch gonna reopen ady like , WHR GOT TIME SIA GO SCHOOL ~ HAHAHA . srs . i dont wanna go sch lehhhhhhh . unless if i transfer sch then ohh yeah ohh yeahhhh oh yeaaaaaaah :p omg i've not done my homework siooo hahahaahahah nehmind gdgirl , later i do >.< lololololol . okay now , actually tday i gt to meet nadya , sheetal & iffah at 2pm . but apparently , i was too tired to get off my bed cause i slept arnd 3am last night so we didnt meet . nadya said its okay just meet on monday ok then i'll just follow th flow . (: its 3:24pm now and im still in th room =.=" hekhek ! oh yeaaaaah today my boyfriend will be back from KL hahahahaha woooooooooo ~ miss him siooooooo lolololol . oh and btw , i've cut my friggin hair and its like sooooo damn thin and short T.T lolol nehmind , hair can grow :B lololol ~ ok idw waste so much time here . ok bye , off to do my leftover hols assignments ;D

TasyAyera ♥

its friday friday ~ cheeh tating eh . lololol . omgomgomg i miss athirah so effing much siooooooo . its like FINALLY we meet like oh am gee >.< heeeeeeeeekheeeeeeeek sho happy y'know ! we met each other just now , at 1:28pm , jurong east interchange . shooooo very the tired y'know ! from woodlands all the way go to jurong east interchange . hekhek ^-^ we hugged each other , even though thr were a lot of ppl around us , we dont give a shit >.< hekhek ! not long aft , we started talking about pri sch , our leftover memories and abt our current sec sch life now . we headed to the mcdonalds but it was so effing crowded so we decided to go to long john silver . we were not sure what to get thr as i ate at long john silver the day before so yeaah . we went back to th mcdonalds as athirah saw an empty seat which is enough for the both of us . she bought double cheese just the burger , plain . well for me , i bought fillet o fish meal , upsize cause wanna share2 my drink & fries la horr ^^ heheh . when we were eating , i suggested to go to harbourfront as th scenery thr is nice and th place is very windy . AND I WAS LIKE OH MY GOSH MY TUMMY SUDDENLY GAVE ME SO MUCH PROBLEMS ! :O hahahahaha so i had to rushed to th lavatory . ok wth i dont have to specific EVERYTHING actually >.< lolololol . then we headed to harbourfront . took some pictures and chit chat . omg if we didnt fought last time , im sure we'll be in th same sch manzxczxczczcxzc . plus , i will ensure that my studies wont drop sioooo cause imma study with her . we also planned to work tgt during th november/december hols and one of those days she will be sleeping over my house , perhaps . had a awesome day with her today . we're also gonna meet up more frequently . alright its 9:18pm and im craving for food but idk what food to get omg hahahaahahha k bye :D  

Wonder what's wrong with me tonight :/

i dont know how many times i actually repeat same things all over again . but srsly its 4:08am and im missing my boyfriend and my girlfriends so fucking much . i wonder how my baby is doing at KL now . i just cant sleep tonight . i miss him so much ): additionally , i miss my girlfriends too . i miss those times when we keep meeting up to study or to have a break as it is a sch hols so yeah .. it's like , i know they meet up each other , without me . i know . i just kept quiet cause i find it so hard to say but so easy to type here . i cant look at them , idk why but i will remain as quiet as possible controlling myself not to shed a single tear infront of them cause i know if i cry , i'll cry , knowing they don't care . sometimes they cant see , i've been pretending im alright , like as if nothing ever happen . idk why , whenever i want to talk to them , i feel like crying at th same time . i miss them . i miss the old us . its okay i know they are happier and much more satisfied without me . i guess , nobody actually really needs me in their life . since im th one who's always the main problem in any situation . sometimes , i dont get them . asking a question also can be a big issue . probably , im gonna remain like this , throughout my life . why do i even exist when actually im always the main fault ? do i deserve living ? why do some ppl care so much ? i cant hide the emptiness which majority ppl let it show anymore . i cant be fake anymore . i never wanted things to be so cold . idk lah bye ah :'| 

Girlfriends ♥

shalalalalala ~ its thursday thursday thursday ohhhh ~ >.< heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh :B lolololol . omg idk what to say its like , i've got problems with my bestgirlfriends , which is idk why they are like this to me uhhhhhhh yeah :| its like , diyanah said i've changed . oh well , the thing is , i may have changed but do you know why ? have you been in my shoes ? the truth is , i've changed because of certain people , because of th way they treated me . like , yeaaahh . sheetal also said that i've been quiet lately but actually , no . i know they didn't like me so i dont wish to say anything cause im afraid whatever that i say might hurt them unintentionally . about liza , well , im not pretty sure what she's up to cause im sure whenever i tell her something , my feelings , my problems , she will tell the rest of my friends . iffah , she has got no problem . she's just fine , as usual . uhmmm .. nadya , well idk what or why , she've been very different . probably , because she still do have feelings for syahdirwan ? well idk .. she could've got him ALREADY by then but the thing is , she didn't treasure him thus , he came back to me . i actually wanted to help the both of them to be together but in the end , i was in between . i don't have any intention of tearing them apart , its just that , he suddenly start contacting back with me which is when i treated him as a friend ONLY not MORE not LESS . and the feelings starts to grow , i can't help it . its the way i feel . this happen actually since few months ago . just that , idk where , when , who to tell this to anyone or to post or to even write about it . cause , i'd prefer to keep things to myself but i guess i just cant take it any longer . i've lost my girlfriends , now , they are just bitching about me which is i fucking dont know what's their motive of doing so . perhaps , if nadya still do have feelings for syahdirwan , maybe , i might let him go . i rather see other people happy than myself . i've never been in this situation before . im so down . i dont want to let him go . its like , he's always thr when i need someone by my side . its so hard to decide . i love him so much that i dont want to let him go . but if its the best thing for nadya and him , im fine with it . cause i know nadya is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better than me . i dont deserve him , he deserve someone who is better than me , which is nadya . my eyes are filled with tears alr . im so sad )': but its okay uh if that's what nadya and the rest of my girlfriends want , i am willing to do it . but omg , i just cant decide . im confused . i dont even want to leave syahdirwan like that either . Dx first time y'know , stating/sharing my feelings on th net ! so many things is running through my mind :'/ im so fucking stress ttmttc !!!! somebodeh help me pls T.T ♥♥♥ I miss my girlfriends so fucking much . we used to be so damn close . but now , everything's changed . )'x but it's okay though , im meeting them on this saturday perhaps . to clear things out . ok that's it , bye :'/

I wish you were here ~ ♥

hello :D HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA im so so bored . heeehs . i miss my boyfriend sia :/ my one & only muhammad syahdirwan bin jumari ♥ lolololololol . he went to KL this morning . he left me a message at 6:28am but i wasn't awake yet . very the sad y'know ! i shed tears last night , for nothing . cheh nolah . actually because i know i will miss him so the fucking much so yeaaah . D: lolololol . he'll be back on saturday . i was like , oh am geeeee ! so long right O.O cheeh padahal 3days only eh O.O but still consider LONG EH ! >.< heeh . cannot laaah , its like , usually he'll be with me most of the time y'know ! heheheheh . tkpelah , i still can wait ok . saya_girlpenyabar@hotmail.com (Y) cheh self praise eh , diam eh tasya xp hahahaa . imma wait until he returns back in SG on this saturday . wanna meet pretty pls ~ wanna hug , kiss & bite him pls ♥♥ ahahaahha ^-^ ok bye idk what to type alr have a nice dayyyyyyyyyyy :3 ☮