Girlfriends ♥

shalalalalala ~ its thursday thursday thursday ohhhh ~ >.< heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh :B lolololol . omg idk what to say its like , i've got problems with my bestgirlfriends , which is idk why they are like this to me uhhhhhhh yeah :| its like , diyanah said i've changed . oh well , the thing is , i may have changed but do you know why ? have you been in my shoes ? the truth is , i've changed because of certain people , because of th way they treated me . like , yeaaahh . sheetal also said that i've been quiet lately but actually , no . i know they didn't like me so i dont wish to say anything cause im afraid whatever that i say might hurt them unintentionally . about liza , well , im not pretty sure what she's up to cause im sure whenever i tell her something , my feelings , my problems , she will tell the rest of my friends . iffah , she has got no problem . she's just fine , as usual . uhmmm .. nadya , well idk what or why , she've been very different . probably , because she still do have feelings for syahdirwan ? well idk .. she could've got him ALREADY by then but the thing is , she didn't treasure him thus , he came back to me . i actually wanted to help the both of them to be together but in the end , i was in between . i don't have any intention of tearing them apart , its just that , he suddenly start contacting back with me which is when i treated him as a friend ONLY not MORE not LESS . and the feelings starts to grow , i can't help it . its the way i feel . this happen actually since few months ago . just that , idk where , when , who to tell this to anyone or to post or to even write about it . cause , i'd prefer to keep things to myself but i guess i just cant take it any longer . i've lost my girlfriends , now , they are just bitching about me which is i fucking dont know what's their motive of doing so . perhaps , if nadya still do have feelings for syahdirwan , maybe , i might let him go . i rather see other people happy than myself . i've never been in this situation before . im so down . i dont want to let him go . its like , he's always thr when i need someone by my side . its so hard to decide . i love him so much that i dont want to let him go . but if its the best thing for nadya and him , im fine with it . cause i know nadya is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better than me . i dont deserve him , he deserve someone who is better than me , which is nadya . my eyes are filled with tears alr . im so sad )': but its okay uh if that's what nadya and the rest of my girlfriends want , i am willing to do it . but omg , i just cant decide . im confused . i dont even want to leave syahdirwan like that either . Dx first time y'know , stating/sharing my feelings on th net ! so many things is running through my mind :'/ im so fucking stress ttmttc !!!! somebodeh help me pls T.T ♥♥♥ I miss my girlfriends so fucking much . we used to be so damn close . but now , everything's changed . )'x but it's okay though , im meeting them on this saturday perhaps . to clear things out . ok that's it , bye :'/