I miss somebodeh ~ :'/

hi wall . i love you wall . omg you're always here when i need you . im so sad now even though im smiling , im so so so damn effing sad . its been 2 days being so cold . i miss my boyfriend very vely verreh much . but idk whether he misses me too . well , maybe i'll consider it as a NO . i kept quiet , i pretend everything was all fine . in fb and everywhr but , to be honest , im really sad . imagine the only person who can make you happy , is not around , and you feel damn sad , damn cold and speechless . doesn't mean i didnt text/call him means i've alr frgt abt him , NO , NEVER WILL . i love him so much even though we quarrel and argue so much . and im wondering if he love , as much as i do . but its okay , im not like other girls , i know . im not pretty , im not smart , my family is broken into pieces and im so fucked . i can never make anyone happy anymore right ? i usually make people angry , sad . im so useless right ? why do i exist like , SERIOUSLY ? i can never make him happy like how i used to , when he was at his lowest right ? i miss those times we both shared each others feelings . we actually made each other smile by cheering each other up . and its like , we both understand each other so much . i miss those times when we take a walk every night , telling stories about each other's life , when he swept off my feet , when he gave me the first kiss that night before sportsday , when he held my hands at changi , when he lend me his shoulder in the bus when i was really tired , when he never fail to send me long messages the first thing in the morning and last thing every night before we turn in , when he look for me when he need to talk to someone . i miss all those friggin much omgggg )'x we both seems happier together before in a r/s . why everything turn out this way , now ? )': we seem to be drifting apart . i dont feel his love anymore . why ? :'/ omg i miss you Muhammad Syahdirwan Bin Jumari Dx i cant get you off my mind b . please , why are we always quarreling and arguing ? i don't like ): i want the old us , we used to be so happy together when im into you . when you got over nadya , when the only girl you wnt and can make you happy is me . is thr any other girl who can replace me ? take over my position now ? if thr is , and you're happier with her , more satisfy , and you think she deserves you , go for her . im happy if you're happy . the only thing i want you to have in life is happiness . i dont want things to turn out even worse . thats why , i think , there's other girls out thr is way btr than me . and yes , you deserve better dont you ? i suck at love right ? even if thr is any girl out thr , who's going to be yours next , or you fell for , im always here for you and i love you , never will i love anyone else out thr as much as i love you b . ♥