Alohaaaaaaaaaa !~ :D lolololololol you know yesterday , 22 07 2011 , i somehow fought with my bf . from morning till today , 23 07 2011 , we've not talk . * controlling the urge of texting/calling him * URGHHH ~ very hard you know ! LOL . sometimes he joke around , yeah but what he say , can kill me , seriously . sorry uh if i cant take jokes . but thr's a limit ok ? k best . and whatever you said yesterday did , left me unspoken . i didn't text nor call or even talk to you neither look at you . not because of anything , just that , i need to calm myself down cause i dont wanna be the one who say things and will leave you unspoken just like you did . so yeah , feel me ? no right ? k nehmind , im used to all this . i can never be perfect . im not always happy . but with you , everything seems to be alright . i didn't know words can kill me . omg i miss my somebodeh ): haiyaah ~ i've not eaten since yesterday . im not hungry at all . but my tummy hurts a lot since yesterday morning . that's why im so damn fucked up yesterday . i feel so insecure . I SUCK AT LOVE , DON'T I ?! i know . other girls out thr is always better than me . im so tired of life . VERY . idk why i exist . i hurt people , always and i dont deserve to live . im useless right ? so yeah ~ he deserve someone better than me . i suck at love , life and EVERYTHING ! im never gonna be as how i used to , happy , cheerful . i miss my old me . and i do , miss him , THE OLD HIM . when he fell for me , chased after me , when he never fail to make me feel not lonely , when there's no other girls in his mind , only me . when he's always there without me knowing until my friends have to tell me he's here and there watching me . i miss the night when he first kissed me , hug me and during sportsday , he shouted my name when i ran for 4x100m . i miss all those because , i feel like im the only one who can make him happy . now it seems like i cant make anyone happy anymore . i always make people sad . we often quarrel for small matters because of me . i miss him now . and i guess , im not gonna eat today . lost appetite since yesterday till now . like yeah ~ okay bye :/ haish ..
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