Maybe when I stop speaking , then you will start noticing . :/

Haluuuu ~ okai this is meh . i just shower like oh WOW ! >.< lolololol it's 12:30am and im sleepy yet still awake . you know why ? cause im waiting for my boyfriend to reply my text . waaah like fun liddat ah wait for someone to reply a text . people call also duwan answer . so sad you know ): why must we always like this ? can we be more like last time ? i miss the old 'us' :/ i miss the old me and the old him . i miss those times when i know i feel i see that im the only girl that can satisfy him , make him happy and so on . but now , it seems like im making things change . we often argue because of small matter and also , i usually make him sad . i dont like to see him sad ): i feel sadder when he's sad ): i miss those times when we dont care whr or when thr is a lot of people around us yet we're holding hands , teasing each other , look into each other's eyes when we're talking . i feel so different now . why ? :'/ i dont want like this one . i so sad . i waited for his text since just now . but its okay , its getting late . i've got science test tmr plus he got N lvl oral , so yeah , goodluck baby . i iz zo zad Dx whyyyyyyy ?!?!!?! idfk urgh )x maybe the only thing i should do now is to stop speaking so that he'll notice . :/ but not talking to him kills me laah okay </3 to be honest , i seriously miss him , miss being like how we were last time and i miss myself . idk why , thing change . something's not right . but i hope things won't repeat again like how it have been repeating throughout my entire life . my first sec sch ex was someone who's in 3n1'2011 , okai , he cheated on me . here it goes , when i was in sec 1 , i entered fuchun , i saw him , love at first sight . then , he winked . i was extremely shocked ttmttc . then in fb we were so damn close . and thr is this guy , iskandar , from fuchun also , he said zam wants my num . but i didnt know his name was zam so i said anything . then zam text me . he's sweet talks made me fall for him . he told me he was single , and we got even closer and closer . and one day , he asked me for steady uh horr . then i said lemmie think abt it . the next day onwards , i found out he got a gf , raihana , 3n1'2011 . then i felt damn guilty cause i didnt know . and i was in between . we both found out , zam also contacting with some other girls from other sch . then i told my friends and broke into tears . i was damn friggin sad , the feeling when someone timer , cheated your feelings , you put high hopes , yet that someone just broke you into pieces and you fell . so , they broke up and i left him . thus , from that day on , things seems to be repeating over and over . i regret loving guys and let them crush me . i don't believe in love nor trust guys . but then , when i met syahdirwan , i was REALLY afraid to fall in love again . because of my past . but he seems different . he don't sweet talk . and its hard to find guys like him . cause in fb , quite a number of guys asked me for numbers , intro whatever shit then i lazy to entertain . i thought i will never fall for anyone anymore since the last ex i've got . yet , Muhammad Syahdirwan Bin Jumari proved me wrong  he is the one , who cheered me up , spend so much time with , share personal things . hey baby , remember me ? remember when you were contacting with nadya ? you told me about your past didn't you ? and i was there when you were at your lowest . remember ? :/ we used to be friends -> best friends -> like father like daughter -> something more than that and now , he is part of my life since 1st May 2011 and i hope that we can last long . and i hope he's not like zam . i know , he's different . but you might not know things might happen , people change . right ? :/ baby lets be like how we used to be before can we ? last time , i dont have to wait for text or anything . you'll always start a topic and i really miss all that . i miss you now and from the bottom of my heart , i really do love you so damn much . even though i may be sarcastic , mean , whatever at times , i will always love you , yes i will . trust me , i love you more than anyone loves you or loved you or will ever love you . seriously , i've NEVER loved anyone as much as i love syahdirwan . and i tell you what , i will treasure him unlike his ex or whoever shit those girls who've made him fall and broke into pieces . i wont break his heart . i wont be like any of my ex nor his . cause i know how it really feels when you really love someone but that someone keep hurting you , taking care of their own feelings . i know and if i make him sad before , i'll try my best not to , from now on . cause , i love you and whatever hurts him , hurts me too . alright thats all , goodnight . wish you goodluck baby fr your N lvl oral . love ya ♥